do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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