Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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