She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
