I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
