airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
