I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
