we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
