U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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