when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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