It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
