everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
