im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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