ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
