Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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