i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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