it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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