I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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