Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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