i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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