Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Found your dick twin last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
