I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
