My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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