I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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