Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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