You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
