Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sobbing to NWA
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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