pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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