i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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