so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
