Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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