You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
