They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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