OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
