pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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