dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
