Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
