Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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