He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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