I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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