1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Randomize
