I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
