Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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