My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
