If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
