I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
