Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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