xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
