she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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