love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
