Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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